By Shari Storm, CCE
As I prepare to leave Verity Credit Union, I’ve spent considerable time thinking back on the lessons I’ve learned and the people who have taught me.
Early in my career, as part of our Verity University, I did a 360 evaluation. Co-workers below me on the organization chart, equal to me and above me all completed anonymous surveys. I just found the survey while going through my old files.
“Ask more questions. Take more time to listen.” I’m not sure who gave me that feedback, but it might be some of the sagest advice I’ve ever received.
In his fabulous book, To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink explores the importance of perspective-taking. Perspective-taking is sort of like empathy, but with your brain instead of your heart. It’s basically stopping to consider another person’s perspective every time you interact with them. It’s especially critical during negotiations.
Pink describes a fascinating 2008 experiment in which a group of negotiators was divided into pairs. Each pair was given the same, seemingly impossible task: to sell a gas station at a price that was too high for the buyer to afford.
A third of the pairs was told to consider what the other person was feeling—to empathize. A third of the pairs was instructed to concentrate on what the other person was thinking—their perspective on things. The last third was given no instructions at all.
What happened? The empathizers struck many more deals than the control group. But the perspective-takers did even better: 76 percent of them managed to fashion a deal that satisfied both sides.
If this experiment holds true in real life, then how do we use perspective-taking to our advantage?
One of the most important things I’ve learned over the years is that my assumptions of how others view the world are often wrong and sometimes very wrong.
How can you be better at understanding those you are working with? Here are three tips:
- Ask a simple question like, “What do you think about that?” or maybe “How do you feel about that?” Often the answer you get will provide all you need to understand another person’s point of view.
- Share your thoughts. Don’t think you can play your cards close to the vest and expect others to be forthcoming. But also, why wouldn’t you share? The more a person understands your perspective, the easier it will be for both of you to gain common ground.
- Ask again. Minds change, people evolve. Just because you knew what someone felt about an issue yesterday, doesn’t mean you know how they feel about it today.
No matter what role we play at our credit unions, we are negotiating with others on a daily basis. Whether it’s trying to convince marketing to advertise a certain product more often, or to persuade an employee that a shift in their job function is something they should embrace, or motivating a member to sign up for overdraft protection, we are negotiating every day.
The better you can negotiate with others, the better you will be at your job. I encourage you to pick up a copy of Daniel Pink’s book and read more about the art and science of perspective-taking.
Shari Storm was SVP/marketing and IT at Verity Credit Union for 16 years. She is available to speak on a variety of topics. For more information, visit sharistorm.com.
Also on this blog: "Success Strategies for Managing Multiple Generations at Work."
