5 minutes
A Stoic Approach to Leading Through Uncertainty
As a speech communication and rhetorical studies major in college, I was introduced to ancient philosophy, but at the time, it felt more conceptual than something I would use in my everyday life.
About 10 years ago, I read The Obstacle Is the Way, by Ryan Holiday, and felt a deeper connection to philosophy and Stoicism than ever before. Holiday’s ability to connect history and stories to today’s reality evoked a deeper sense of interest for me in philosophy, and how I could apply it to my life.
Stoicism, at its core, is both a philosophy and a set of practical skills for living your life—helping you focus your energy on what you can control and respond thoughtfully to what you can’t. After reading Holiday’s book, I began studying and applying these principles—bringing more intention to my mindset, my responses to challenges, and where I chose to invest my energy.
But it wasn’t until a bigger life challenge that I would find myself drawn to these life principles in a deeper way.
A few years ago, my young son was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I was suddenly navigating something deeply emotional and complex; trying to understand the disease, support him through it, and manage my own emotions, fear, and stress at the same time.
Like any significant life change, there was a sense of grief that came with it. The first year was challenging for our family as we navigated the complexities of the disease, different medication options, and insurance challenges that left me drained, stressed, and often feeling hopeless. I worked with an excellent therapist who helped me process the situation and guided me in learning to validate my own emotions, yet be present for my son in a way that wasn’t adding additional stress to his experience. I was learning to not project my own anxiety into my conversations with my son, and instead approach those moments with steadiness, practicality, and empathy.
It was at this time that I created two mantras to ground myself when things felt out of control: Be with what is and Be invested, yet detached.
Be with what is was a reminder to stay present and accept the reality of the situation, rather than wishing it were different.
Be invested, yet detached helped me separate effort from outcome. I could be fully present, supportive, and intentional, while recognizing that I couldn’t control how everything would unfold.
The emotions I was experiencing were valid and expected. But staying stuck in them wasn’t helping me or my son.
These mantras became touchstones, helping me focus my energy more productively instead of wasting it on things I couldn’t control.
The experience with my son, which I am still navigating, stretched me in ways I didn’t expect, and ultimately deepened my capacity to navigate change. It’s still hard, emotional, and challenging at times, but I’ve developed a better and more sustainable way of responding by grounding myself in what’s real and focusing my energy where it makes a difference.
As Marcus Aurelius says in Meditations, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
The ancient principles of Stoicism are a way of navigating life with more clarity, perspective, calm, and intention. And these principles can be incredibly beneficial in our professional lives, helping us stay grounded and focused in fast-paced, unpredictable environments.
Here are four Stoic principles that can elevate your leadership—and how you navigate life.
1. Focus on What You Can Control
At the core of Stoicism is the idea that some things are within our control, and many things are not. As a leader, you can’t control other people’s reactions, the economy, or every outcome. But you can control how you show up—your mindset, your communication, and your decisions. Strong leaders conserve their energy by focusing on what they can influence instead of getting pulled into frustration over what they can’t.
2. Respond, Don’t React
Stoicism teaches us to create space between what happens and how we respond. In leadership, this means pausing before reacting, especially in moments of stress or conflict. Instead of responding emotionally in the moment, effective leaders take a breath, think before responding, and approach situations with curiosity. That pause often leads to better decisions, stronger relationships, and more productive conversations.
3. Be Invested, Yet Detached
Great leaders care deeply about their team, their work, and results. But Stoicism reminds us not to tie our well-being to outcomes we don’t fully control. Being invested, yet detached means showing up with effort, intention, and care, while letting go of the need to control how everything unfolds. This creates more flexibility, reduces frustration, and allows leaders to stay steady even when things don’t go as planned. You can influence a situation with your energy and approach, but you cannot control how another person responds.
4. Be With What Is: Accept Reality and Move Forward
Resisting reality drains energy. Stoicism encourages us to acknowledge what is—especially when it’s difficult—so we can respond effectively. In leadership, this means facing challenges directly—rather than avoiding them, wishing they were different, or getting stuck in frustration. When leaders accept reality quickly, they can facilitate problem-solving, support their teams more effectively, and create forward momentum.
“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.”
— Seneca the Younger
This human experience is messy, beautiful, and often unpredictable. Stoicism doesn’t remove the difficulty, but it gives us a way to navigate them with more calm and perspective. When we learn to ground ourselves in what we can control, we live and lead with greater clarity, intention, and resilience.
Laurie Maddalena, MBA, CSP, CPCC, is a professional speaker, leadership consultant and founder of CUES Supplier member Envision Excellence LLC in the Washington, D.C., area. She is the bestselling author of the book, The Elevated Leader. Her mission is to rid the world of bad management practices and help organizations create cultures where people love to come to work. Maddalena facilitates management and executive training programs and team-building sessions and speaks at leadership events. Prior to starting her business, she was a human resources and organizational development executive at a credit union in Maryland. Contact her at 240.605.7940 or laurie@lauriemaddalena.com.
